« My Sweet Doe »


by E. P. Cutler

You may heal backwards. Some bruises find their blue decades later. You may heal in bone-aching boredom. When seconds take their time. When dust clouds sunrays. Motionless suspended dust. Or watch Law & Order. Both most likely. Rubber squeaks piercingly on linoleum floors. Forget flowers. Bring chapstick and socks. No, bring all three. You may heal in a sorrow too violent to growl, where your mouth fails. There is only silence and drool. Shaking that shifts the axis of the world. 8 centimeters at least. The planet should acknowledge it, after all. To heal will never be linear. It will never make sense. It will snake like the Amazon and encircle you like a labyrinth. You will never be more supported and you will never forget that, that specific chill of solitude. But, my sweet doe, it is amazing what you can survive. §

Photo Courtesy of Matthew Pandolfe.

Photo Courtesy of Matthew Pandolfe.

E. P. Cutler is co-author of the New York Time’s best-selling fashion book PANTONE on Fashion: A Century of Color in Design and of Art + Fashion : Collaborations and Connections Between Icons. She lives in Paris and is currently working on her first biography, exploring the life of Madame Ginette Spanier. Courtesy of Matthew Pandolfe.